I've never experienced a loss of a loved one, I was blessed with such a thing. But it is only now that the days have passed that I realized how much my little viejita (old lady) meant to me.
We got Dolly when she was 8 weeks old and we lost her 13 years later. Now, my entire family knew that her time was coming, she couldn't hear well, she couldn't really smell well either and her eyes were looking hollow. Sometimes we'd come back from an outing and she wouldn't notice that we were back until she saw us standing there. But man, no one was ready to let her go. Because I've said the story one too many times- we lost her to a coyote, by no means was the coyote wrong- after all she was in their territory but it's the cruel nature of it that made it that much worse.
Thursday night I cried for her, for the thought of her being gone. But Friday morning I went out to see if I could find any remains, and all that was left of her were the hair balls scattered a couple of houses down. And then it hit me. Dolly is gone forever.
My viejita is still with me. I can remember the first night she spent with us- she was crying at my bed and I woke up my mom to ask if she could sleep on my bed for just one night, in her last months she could no longer jump onto my bed and feared getting down. I can tell you how she passed away with quite little emotion on my face, I've made myself immune to the imagination of her last moments here on this Earth. But man can I tell you, you never realize how much you love something until it's gone.
Thursday night I came home and she wagged her tail at me, I scolded her and told her "if you think I'm gonna go over and rub your belly after my long day, you're crazy!" And those were my last words to her. Now I only wish that I could rub her belly, or take her out on the walk that I always thought would be too tough for her.
Dolly, here's to the memories and childhood you left me. To the times you ran out when me and dad were running late to school, to the albums and bibles you chewed up, to the many road trips you spent with us in the backseat, to the holidays were we had to have a picture with you and the family, to meeting our new baby sister, to the times you comforted us with your presence when we were home alone, Dolly you take with you a huge part of my childhood, but you will never ever be replaced mi viejita. I'll be wishing you could annoy me just once more, that I could come home to look for you, or to hear your breath at my door, of one thing I'm sure Dolly:
All Dogs Go to Heaven
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