Giver

I was born to be a giver.

Saturday morning, I get up and I get ready to go visit my boyfriend, I decide to skip breakfast at home and grab a muffin and coffee from Starbucks. As I drive out, at the exit of the shopping center, there is a homeless man, I am immediately thankful that there's a red light and I pull out a $5 bill and hand it to him. He thanked me very much, and said "Ma'am, I know it's that time of day to eat, that's all I'm trying to do here" and he turned and headed to the McDonalds." 

And you wouldn't believe how happy I felt, I don't tell this story to get a pat on the back, but I do share it with a little shame of my selfishness.

I've made it a goal of mine that when I give to those who are on the streets, to make it matter. Because will a dollar or two make a difference? No. But even just $5 can mean a meal to them, something that matters and that everyone is worth of. I get told, "what if they use it for something else?" And so I'll tell you--is that my business? No. Because I'm not here to judge them, or how they got to the situation that they are in.

So Saturday, I felt complete, because I felt like I might have actually made a difference- and I'm not talking about ground-shattering, I changed his life. I mean even if for just a day, I made a difference, I gave and it mattered.

And so I continued my drive across the mountains to my boyfriend. 

In the mountains, I thought of giver. 

I am a giver, and I wish I could explain how I know that this is what I am meant to do in my life, but I simply can't. When it comes to my home life, I'm a giver: I've been there to take on the role that my parents have needed me to, I love to spoil my sisters when I can, and so much more. When it comes to work, I give my all- whether it's being above and beyond production and performance at Albertson's or moving everything so I can help with babysitting as best I can. And it's part of the reason why I struggle with my college education-because it's for myself. I want to be an English teacher, so I can help those who struggle with writing, to help those who panic at an english class. In my church activities, I like being part of the framework- helping with hospitality and organizing rather than standing in front of everyone teaching, because it's the smaller details that help the teacher flow in her plan. When I look to my future, I want to be the one who supports my husband, who spoils him perhaps, the one who gives it all for my kids and is always there. I like to make others feel like they are a priority.

I am a giver.

giv·er

ˈɡivər/

noun

1. a person who gives something.

   [or everything]